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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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