dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize