Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
