apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
