help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
