he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
