I want to stick my p in your. b.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
