I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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