I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize