And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
