Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
