Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
