I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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