Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
