my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
