I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
