it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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