Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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