I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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