omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is Oprah even human
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
