he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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