I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
