I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize