? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
