so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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