dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
