Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize