Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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