god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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