try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
