Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
