$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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