Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I enjoy the company of your penis
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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