FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
