yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
