oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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