You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
