You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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