i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
