"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
