I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
