OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize