I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
