I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
