I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I didn't notice because vodka
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
