So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
