I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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