Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
