Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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