Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
