i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize