I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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