Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
