I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
