evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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