Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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