so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it was like his penis was on wheels.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Send help, water and tortillas.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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