I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
