I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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