Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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