I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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