Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
