He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
