Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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