Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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