it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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