I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
