he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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