Got a toothbrush?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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